THE IDEAL MAN & WOMAN

The Ideal Man
What every woman expects........

He will be a brilliant conversationalist.

He will be sensitive, kind, understanding and loving.

He will be a very hard working man.

He will help around the house by washing dishes, vacuming the floors and taking care of the garden.

He will be a man of emotional and physical strength.

He will be as smart as Einstein but look like Harrison Ford.

..........but what she actually gets

He always takes her to the best restaurants, someday he will take her inside.

He doesn't have any ulsers, he just gives them.

Anytime he gets an idea in his head, he has the whole thing in a nutshell.

He is well known as a miracle worker, it's a miracle when he works.

He supports his wife in the manner to which she was accustomed, he lets her keep her job.

He is such a bore, that he even bores her to death when he gives her a compliment.

He has occasional flashes of silence that make his conversation brilliant.

After a man finds out his 'woman' is no angel, he tries to ascertain to what extent she isn't.

The Ideal Woman
What every man expects...........

She will always be beautiful and cheerful. She could marry a movie star but she wants only him.

She will have hair that never needs curlers or beauty shops.

Her beauty won't run in a rainstorm.

She will never be sick, just allergic to jewellry and fur coats.

She will insist that moving the furniture is good for her figure.

She will be an expert in cooking, cleaning, fixing the car, painting and keeping quiet.

Her hobbies will be mowing the lawn and washing dishes.

She will hate credit cards.

Her favourite expression will be "What can I do for you dear?".

She will think you are a genius and look like her favourite movie star.

She will ask you to go out with the boys so she can get some housework done.

She will love you because you are so sexy.

...........but what he actually gets

She speaks 140 words a minute, with gusts of up to 180.

She was once a model, for a totem pole.

She is a light eater, once it is light she starts eating.

Where there is smoke, she is cooking.

She lets you know you have only two faults, everything you say and everything you do.

No matter what she does with it, her hair looks like an explosion in a steel wool factory.

If you get lost, open your wallet and she will soon find you.

Main Menu | Romantic Greetings | Friendship Greetings | Fun Greetings